Burlesque Bar

Banbury Cross

In search of jobs and hobbies and fun things to do, I'd sent off an email to Burlesque Bar in Fitzroy several months ago, offering myself as a life model for their Burlesque Life Drawing class. I mentioned that I was a Miss Pinup entrant and that I'd studied burlesque in London.

I may not have mentioned that I'd done Level One at 'Burlseque Baby' but that I'd never actually performed burlesque before in front of an audience. May not have mentioned that…
Months later, the whole thing all but forgotten, I received an email from Sarah from Burlesque Bar, the life-drawing class organiser, asking if I'd be available in 2 weeks to model for the class.

-'Sure! I'd love to!'
-'Great! The performance should be the duration of one song. Bring your backing music and any props you need.'
-……'Sure. Great! See you then!'
Performance!!?. …..Shit.
This can be called either 'busted' or 'jumping in the deep end'…. 'fight' or 'flight'.
There's no reason I can't perform burlesque! Why not? My teacher was Milicent Binks for God's sake, 'The English Rose'!. She performs with Dita Von Teese all over the world!
I could either let her lessons go to waste or put what she taught me to good use.
 
Mapping out 'Mission: Burlesque Bar', I figured that I had 2 weeks to choose a song, whack together a costume, choreograph a good routine and practise it up, ready for the class....

The first week was for brainstorming. Youtube became my best friend. I watched every Dita Von Teese show. I also rediscovered the first Burlesque dancer I ever saw perform in London, who totally blew my mind… 'Banbury Cross'. Even Jerry, who I'd had to drag along with me kicking and screaming, was in awe of her performance. 
Whilst Dita is slow, soft and sensual, Banbury is high-energy, cheeky and shocking! She's the type of dancer I want to be. In fact I became so obsessed with her I watched every one of her shows on youtube numerous times and found myself wanting to be her, or at least wanting to totally rip-off her moves, her style, her costumes and her songs..  :o) I had a new dream. To be a professional burlesque dancer.
 
Week 2 was for putting it all together- I pulled out my vintage-style sailor suit bikini and matched up some gloves, stay-up stockings, garter belt, heels, and of course the sailor hat.. Then I ordered some red sequin love-heart nipple tassels. Yes, that'll do nicely..

I then browsed popular burlesque songs until finally settling on 'Rum & Coke' by The Andrews Sisters. I grabbed a kitchen chair and begun practising my routine, trying to include as many of the Top 10 Classic Burlesque Moves as I could:

1. The tease
2. The flirt
3. The 'did I do that?' look
4. The unaware or accidental expose'
5. The knowing or intentional expose'
6. The quiver
7. The shimmy
8-9. The bump & grind                                                                                          
10. The wink

At my part time nanny job, I put the song on repeat to practise to, and my cute little 3-year-old danced along, thinking it was the best game ever.. I then did a full dress rehearsal for Jerry, who tried constructive criticism, even demonstrating the little bum shake I should do, as opposed to the shimmy… 'No, no, baby, the fat is supposed to wobble… that's the shimmy!'

I finally felt prepared for my first burlesque performance...

:o)

Aspire

Along with the Miss Pinup competition, I'm juggling three jobs and managing to stay very busy!

One of those jobs is as a freelance photographer's assistant, working for a wonderful German woman called Carmen. Carmen has her own boudoir photography business, specialising in vintage and pinup style photography, and she creates absolute magic. She's also got a wicked laugh, a heart of gold and is great fun to work with. My very first job with her was at a magnificent Victorian mansion in Kew called Butleigh Wootton.

It's the type of place that transports you into history… or into some period drama film which makes you wish you lived in that era… (Every period drama has that effect on me!)
I was flabbergasted, imaging the real family that would have once lived in such splendour! Sprawling rose gardens, Juliet balconies, winding staircase, crystal chandeliers, four-poster beds, chaise lounges, marble-topped fireplaces, everything antique…. What a workplace!

My job involved meeting and greeting the clients as they arrived, showing them up to our studio area, de-clothing them, filling them with champagne and chocolates and chatting with them as they were made-over by the fabulous make-up artist Rosie. Then helping accessorise their lingerie outfits and leading them to the boudoir rooms where Carmen would work her magic with the camera, while I assisted with lighting and props.
It was the sort of job that makes you realise that you actually can make a living doing what you love.

Since then I've worked for Carmen on a regular basis; photoshop post-editing, and prop making. She commissioned me to make her a human-sized vintage cake for her models to jump out of, and offered me her cardboard plasma TV box to use.... I took that lucky box home.
It made me think of the film Indecent Proposal, when Woody Harrelson quotes Louie Kahn about the brick. I believe that even that TV box wanted to be something.. Even a box aspires to be something better than what it is. And that lucky box got its break. On my lounge room floor, with a Stanley knife, some paint, some fabric roses and some gold tassels, I created a bit of my own magic…
Carmen even let me christen the thing and be the first model to jump out of it (picture above).

At the moment she's commissioning me to make a pair of five foot angel wings.. I have one thousand feathers, which also aspire to be something beautiful..

And as Woody Harrelson says with his sexy southern drawl, as all things aspire to be something better than they are, so must we… Maybe that's the point of life and the path to enlightenment… to become something better than you are.. or at least to aspire to be so…

:o)

Peter Pan

I turned 32 on Wednesday! Each year my age seems more and more ridiculous! Maybe I have a case of Peter Pan syndrome... or I'm what the ancient Greeks & Romans called puella aeterna- one who fears growing up. I had thought to come home to Australia and settle down… but after a year here I'm still not settled and find myself itching to take off on more adventures to faraway lands...

Though I'd dreaded my birthday, it surprised me by being rather lovely. Jerry brought me breakfast in bed, singing Happy Birthday, my phone tinged all day with a steady stream of well-wishing messages, hundreds of people sent me Facebook love, and my brother even recorded and published 'Happy Birthday Anna'  Lisa Simpson-style on his new app- Jam (which I'll discuss further down) and even got me a bit teary!

I really felt the birthday love.

I wore a pretty new summer dress, a present from Jerry, and we spent the day together cruising with the roof down in the sunny weather, did some shopping and had lunch at a quaint cafe by the South Melbourne Market. In the evening we headed to the beach for the Republica Beach Volleyball weekly tournament where we were joined by the rest of our extended volleyball team -'The Flukers' (mostly brothers and cousins). After lots of practise on our recent family beach holiday, we'd all much improved at the game and really kicked some but.

And the whole day we were kept excited by the progress of my brothers' music app Jam, which was released in the app store this week and is also really kicking but, climbing the charts like hell. It's now reached Number 1 in loads of countries including the important ones.
My brothers' business was always destined for greatness and luckily I divined that from the beginning when shares were being sold and I convinced a very cynical Jerry to invest in them. You can imagine the dollar signs in the eyes and the palm-rubbing going on now as Jam booms all over the world.

And still I'm melancholy, wondering where I should be and what I should be doing with my life.
Jerry also has Peter Pan syndrome and neither one of us can seem to tie the other down.
We dream of our own business- a restaurant for Jerry to manage which could double as an art space for me to manage, with a built-in studio and hopefully a garden… What fun it would be to interior design and decorate and to host special events and cocktail parties and exhibition openings..
Something like that might settle us down. 'Maybe you're just travelers at heart and are supposed to keep wandering forever' my friend Sarah suggests… 'Having babies would settle you down' my mum is sure…

32 is just a number. People achieve things at different stages in their lives and I wouldn't swap what I've done with my life for a career and a family... but I do also want those things when it's my time :o) ….

DEAL!!!

When I'd first arrived home in Oz, in need of something exciting to cheer me up, I'd sent out loads of applications for random fun and folly things… One of those applications was for the TV game show 'Deal or No Deal'...
Now, months later, having almost forgotten I'd even applied, I was sitting in photography class during the break when I received an email from the 'Deal Coordinator' inviting me to a casting to be a contestant on the show.
I jumped out of my chair and ran out of class to call Jerry, my heart pounding.

J: (excited) 'You're gonna get through baby! You could win $200,000!!'
Me: 'It says in the invitation that I can invite someone along to play with me… Do you wanna play with me?!!'.. 
J: (hesitates).. 'What about my English? You know how I get when I'm nervous!'
Me: 'Oh come on baby! Who gives a shit! It'll be so much fun!!'
J: (excited again) 'Ok!!'

I decide to dress in vintage for the casting. Polka dot jumpsuit, pin curls and red lippy. Jerry dresses to impress in blazer and bow tie. We drive to the casting with the roof down, feeling a million dollars. But its stinking hot, we're running late, and there are no parks, so we park the car at my brothers office, blocking his car in, throw the keys at him through the door with no explanation and powerwalk four blocks, me with instant blisters from the damned heels. My nerves are fraying and I start bickering at Jerry who's walking ahead.
'Shall we meet there or do you want to wait for me?!... F-ing Speedy Gonzales!'
We turn the corner and there are a hundred people queued up outside the studio for the casting. Ahhh!! Rushing for nothing!

We walk up to join the crowd and one hundred people turn and stare at us. We're literally the only ones who made any effort whatsoever at looking good for the casting. I'm talking Bogan Central. It could've been a queue at Centrelink on dole day.
As we pose for the mug shots, I whisper to Jerry 'We've got it in the bag'.

The questionnaires include:
'Whats the most exciting thing you've ever done?'
'What are you most proud of in your life?'
'Whats something people wouldn't guess about you?'
'Whats the strangest job you've ever done?'
And the big one: 'What would you do with $200,000?'

I overhear the broads next to me struggling to come up with answers. Meanwhile Jerry and I have absolutely smashed the questionnaires! They're literally overflowing with winning answers, rippers, beauties, everything you could ever wish to read on a questionnaire if you were a casting director looking for somebody interesting for your show.
eg:
Jerry: Won 'Survivor'. (Bang)
Anna: Opened a cocktail bar in Costa Rica and made a reality TV show about it. (Bang)
Jerry: Cruised the world on a 6-star luxury cruise ship. (Bang)
Anna: Got hit on by Prince Harry. (Bang)
Jerry: Owned my own restaurant in Stockholm. (Bang)
Anna: Worked as a Playboy Bunny at the Playboy Casino in London. (Bang)
Jerry: Was a chimney sweep. (WTF?!)

We strategically analyze the 6 interviewers at their desks, and decide on the guy we want. Yes, we definitely stand the best chance with him. Luck is on our side. He notices us too, waits while his colleague takes the broads next to us and then calls us over. We're silently high-fiving as we sit down opposite him.
'I have to say, you two have lit up this room!' is the first thing he says to us.
The interview is amazing. He loves us.
And we leave, dreaming of the suitcase containing $200,000.

Finals List

The day finally arrived when it would be announced which Miss Pinup contestants would go through to the finals. After months of obsessing over this competition, pillaging opp-shops for vintage hats and gloves, squandering rent money on bullet bras and girdles, and hours spent studying youtube tutorials on 50's hairstyles and makeup techniques, I was imaginably a tad anxious about receiving the results. What would I do if my name didn't appear in the list?!

On one hand I felt confident with my 'Vienne Rose' photo entries, but who was to know what the judges were looking for…
All day I kept the Miss Pinup webpage up on my laptop, pressing refresh every 10 minutes.
Jerry convinced to to come for a run with him along the beach to get me out of the house so I brought my phone along, the website open and ready. At the jungle-gym in the park, I stopped to refresh the webpage and my heart stopped. The lists were up.

I hurriedly scanned through the names under 'Miss Perfect Finalists' and there was no Vienne Rose. The blood drained from my face, my heart sunk into my stomach, shock and disappointment stunned me. But wait- I had entered in two categories- Miss Perfect (for general Pinups) and Miss Classic (for over 30's)… My eyes raced down the page to the second list and relief washed over me. There I was, Miss Classic Finalists- Vienne Rose.

Yaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!! Relief and happiness. And then the compulsory poke of paranoia- 'Why Miss Classic and not Miss Perfect..? Is it because they think I look old?' I'm so silly.
Momentarily my phone began to ring- Mum, who must have also been sitting on the refresh button, calling to congratulate me. And knowing me too well, to reassure me.  

'Of course you got through!' Jerry declared as we ran home together '...you're Anna Banan!'
With a big smile on my face, I imagined the big new adventure ahead of me...

The Alchemist

I was always attracted to handsome foreign men. Under the spell of a charming accent and the mystery of an exotic culture, I never considered the practicalities of marrying someone from another land. The main dilemma of course being that both of us wish to live in our respective homes, which happen to be on opposite sides of this wondrous earth.

My psychologist refers to it as 'the rose coloured glasses coming off'', the moment you wake up from your dreamland where you believe your love to be so strong it can withstand the wildest winds, the roughest seas and the most raging of storms. The reality check when you realise that life is not a romance novel.

Love is actually a battlefield. And after our 3-month-long battle of tug-of-war (fought out on Viber and Skype between Sweden and Australia)….. I (thank God) won.
And my handsome foreigner agreed to move back here, to my home. :o)

Throughout the battle, as I'd felt my world crashing down on me, I also somehow saw the light, and realised (finally) which career path I wanted to pursue. 'Miss Pinup' had stirred up my passion for photography and I decided it was time to follow my bliss. So I made an appointment with the director at the photography college where I'd half completed my diploma 12 years ago, before deferring to travel. Within that 12 year period of time, film epically turned to digital and dark rooms into mac labs. 'I'm afraid you'd have to restart the course from square one'.

Minor set back.

Still feeling like Paulo Coelho's Alchemist on the right path, I enrolled and began classes (and love it). I began working on my folio, making lists of photo ideas and fishing around for some hands-on work. I sent emails out to every single photography studio in melbourne, offering myself as a photographer's assistant and to my surprise, got three interviews after the first week!

My first job as a freelance photographer/stylist involved making some child-size birds wings for a photographer's conceptual work. My second job was assisting a photographer doing boudoir shoots at a grand mansion full of antiques, chandeliers and winding staircases.
And my third job was taking the pictures for my cousin's children's-wear range for her online store. A great start to a freelance career!!

With my hubby back, marriage salvaged, fun new 'Miss Pinup' hobby, and finally the promise of a career, I started feeling like 2012 might not be the shittiest year of my life after all.   

In fact, with interviews and job offers coming up all over the place, I began feeling like I might even be on a winning streak… And it's exactly when you start believing that, that 'The Secret' kicks in… and the universe sends you an exciting surprise…

…Which I'll tell you about next post, my lovelies. 

:o)

Vienne Rose

My lovelies! After much deliberation, hesitation and procrastination, I'm finally blogging again!
Gosh its a challenge and you'll have to bear with me as I find my rhythm again but I have missed writing so much and lots of my readers have told me they miss reading my posts (which warms my heart, thank you!)…. So here we go!

It occurred to me that 'the yellow brick road' had run its course, since i'd come home to Oz after all… and with a brand new chapter of life ahead of me, I decided to embrace a complete rebirth, including a fresh new blog. Welcome to……..

Life in Pink

'The night is darkest just before the dawn'

After returning home from the summer in Sweden, I found myself back in winter, at my parents house in the country, unemployed with no career prospects, in debt and with no income, no apartment (rented out, full of my things), absent husband and marriage on-the-rocks (long story) friends scattered randomly and far (around the world) living in my pyjamas and pretty far down in the dumps, one could say.

While wallowing in my misery, I managed to slowly begin a daily routine with my mumsy. We called it our health-resort routine and I'm sure it was the beginning of my salvation: morning walk, sauna, solarium, Holosync meditation, yoga, interspersed with super-health-food meals, fresh juices and herbal tea breaks. We wondered how we'd ever fit jobs in!

My parents (bless) saved me from the depths of my misery and self pity, as did the wondrously well-timed discovery of a competition that would become a huge part of my life. 'Miss Pinup Australia' was just what I needed.

A celebration of womanhood, Miss Pinup invites you to discover your inner pinup. Not a beauty pageant (let's make that clear), but a vintage stylist contest, women of all ages, shapes, and sizes may enter (and may win), for it is she with the most authentic and well-styled vintage outfits, and who performs the best routines in said outfits, who takes the title.

What brilliant fun! I set about planning my entry application: Three professional photos in three different vintage outfits (strictly 1940's-50's) with appropriate styling (hair, makeup, accessories) and displaying a knowledge of the era with typical poses, props, backdrops etc.

I enlisted the help of some very useful people: a local dressmaker with inside knowledge, my high school photography teacher, my grandparents with their collection of vintage everything, and 2 renowned hoarders and costume collectors; my mum and dad.

With my creative juices flowing and my photography skills put back into practise, I cast aside my sadness (for short periods anyhow) and got cracking at the job of releasing my inner pinup.

I ravaged every opp-shop in town, scrounged the garage and gave the credit card a run for its money online. I finally had my three outfits together and booked in the studio time.

My teacher, who I often model for, laughed at my corny poses, and told me I was a natural born pinup. 

With my photos ready to go, all I needed was a stage name, and my application would be complete.
Ahhh 'whats in a name?'… Coming up with something original turned into an even bigger mission than getting the photos finished! For inspiration (and to avoid ripping anyone off), I checked the 'Australian Burlesque Registry', did burlesque-name-generators, studied French dictionaries and spent hours googling popular names from the 40's and 50's. Finally, in a stroke of genius, my dad came up with a name that was both beautiful and clever, and a name by which I will now be known in my pinup world…

Vienne Rose 
 

Until next post my lovelies...